Everything...

Warmth. I remember the warmth.

I remember when we met, actually met in person, for the first time. She was on my front porch, needing help. She already trusted me.

I remember how her hair smelled when we said goodbye for the first time. Not shampoo or perfume but something different. Something I've never quite smelled anywhere else. I joked to myself that it was her sweetness radiating from her head.

I remember the pain mixed with relief on her face upon seeing me alive after she'd seen me die in another dimension. After she'd held that other me, watching that me die in her arms. But it wasn't me, it was a different me. She was without me for a day or two. I've been without her for weeks now with less closure.

I remember the look on her face that day just after that, when we were by the lake. Watery eyes, watery smile, the pain, the happiness. The day we admitted out loud to each other that we loved each other and we had to figure out what to do about it. We cried and we kissed and we held each other.

I remember it all at once. I remember it over and over again.

It's so much...

It's too much...

I...