That...was then...

Glancing back over this, I think I may have slid from explaining to complaining and that concerns me. No one like a complainer, least of all me, and if I've drawn a picture that portrays me as friendless and joyless; then I have expressed my situation inaccurately. While I have been figuratively kicked and beaten, I am not without support.

As explained, Cuthbold has had to deliver a great deal to me. While he's awkwardly Cuthbold, he's tried to be nice, never relishing the moment. When things have gotten serious in our departmental meetings, Cuthbold has defused it or shut it down as was necessary.

I've not had the time or energy to go out much. If I have the time, I won't have the energy and vice versa. Friends have called and asked to visit; often friends that don't get out much themselves. Mike has taken time from his busy work schedule to come over, watch stupid movies and worked to generally distract me, not giving me a hard time when I've fallen asleep on the couch mid-film.

Chris has sent Julia to visit me on occasion, mostly with food knowing that I don't cook for myself well even when I have the time. I've woken up to a clean house thanks to her. It's moments like that when I wonder what I've done to deserve such loyalty.

I don't want to short change anyone that's been kind to me in these regards but I also don't want to turn this into a list of names and events. I'm confident that I don't know the full extent of what people have done for me, what words of defense may have been spoken outside my presence or ideas generated to support me without my knowledge. Thank you all.

While I know I have the support of many, none have supported me as Sarah Jean has supported me. It is not in my nature to lean on others for support but she has done her best to educate me as to how this is done. Physically she is rarely here but in every other way she is never far from me. We communicate in various ways almost constantly, on the phone, in email, mental communication, or however else. Doctor Aloysius Sanders was in town last month and he delivered a note to me from her. One of the smartest men on the planet, if not the smartest, and Sarah Jean reduces him to a kid passing mushy notes in class.

So, if nothing else, Sarah Jean cares about me. I've no idea why she should do so but I appreciate it. No, that word's not good enough. I treasure her support. That sounds more accurate. She's a wonderful person and I don't see how I deserve her attention but I love her for it.