Here Again

Dishes clank around me. The murmur of conversation surrounds me. I am soaking in it. For my part, I am silent. My table is an island of silence amidst this ocean of noise.

All around me the business of the restaurant continues. People smiling, chatting, ordering, eating, drinking. I know every brick, every table, every light. I'm here every night. At least it feels like it anyway. It's just that most of those times, no, all of those times, I had a friend with me. And now I am alone. Why?

Why am I here again? It's a dream and I know it's a dream. They were always such lucid dreams. I could control them if I didn't try too hard. So why am I alone? Even here I can't have her back?

People move all around me. I watch them pass by on their way to the kitchen or bathroom or whatever. I see them all clear as day. None of them acknowledge my presence. At all.

Maybe I could change that. This is my dream. I've had control here before. Unless this is what I want. Do I want to be alone? Or is this just a sign of how I feel? I'm alone because I feel alone?

There's a... blur in the corner of my eye. I keep turning, trying to see what it is. Everyone around me is clearly visible, except this figure that continues to elude me. It's as if she's hiding from me.

I can barely see her. How do I know? It's a dream. Some things you just know. Between that and a flash of red...

This is going to be the rest of my life, isn't it? Seeing the red headed girl out of the corner of my eye but never getting to see her again?

Never is a long time.