Into the Fallout

Have you ever been around someone that died unexpectedly? People have questions. They want to know details. What happened, in what order, what you did in response, why did you respond in that way, and on and on. Everything you did is double and triple checked. People who weren't there and may not understand the situation you were in have opinions about what you did or should have done. I've often heard that hindsight is 20/20. The reaction of some people to what happened around that cabin last summer proves that to be true. Worse yet is that some people seem to be of the impression that I should somehow have had access to this hindsight at the time and saved everyone. Most of the people with this opinion have been parents.

I was in charge, they like to remind me, shouldn't I have done more? How dare I let their child be killed? Why didn't I figure it out sooner? How did I not magically walk into the cabin and know that someone had found a buried spaceship and accidentally activated the defense mechanism? All the questions that haunt my head are spat at me by strangers. Somehow, in not succeeding more, I became the villain to some.

I try to understand them. They're in pain and need someone to blame. Subconsciously or not, they decided that I was in with the Na'Dar. By my own admission I recognized the ship, knew where to go, and could read the language to some degree. When there was the meeting with the delegates from the Na'Dar embassy, I was recognized and greeted by a Na'Dar gentleman I'd previously met through the college. To someone who's never met a Na'Dar before, perhaps never seen a Na'Dar in person, this must have seemed suspicious.

I can see why these people might have reacted the way they did. That doesn't mean it hurts any less; it just means I can see where they might be coming from.