The Professor

I don't brown nose well. I'm friendly. I will tease if the relationship is there. I will compliment if appropriate. I don't crawl to curry favor. I don't see the point. If you cultivate a supervisor in that way, then the supervisor will get promoted or move departments or go to another job or something and now you've wasted all that time. I strive to be respectful and friendly to everyone, no matter their position relative to me. What's the old expression? You meet the same people on the way up that you meet on the way down. Or something like that anyway. It's not productive to kick the people below you and kiss the people above you. In a year, their positions could be switched. And then where are you? Stuck, that's where.

What was my point again? Oh, right, I don't brown nose well. As I watched some of my colleagues swarm Professor Smith-Smythe I became politely annoyed. I had things to do and sitting here watching them kiss his butt hadn't been on my to-do list. Eventually it settled down and we had out pointless, pointless meeting. The department heads all got up and explained how awesome they and their department happened to be.

Was I expected to give a presentation? Why of course. Good thing I had a copy on my portable drive. I did my best to keep it brief. That seemed to be a good choice. Professor Smith-Smythe's eyes glazed over at the abbreviation 'PC'.

Once everything was done and we were done patting ourselves on the back, the official meeting ended and they returned to sucking up to him on a one-to-one basis. I got bored and turned my attention to the snack table.

Midway through cramming the last bit of donut into my mouth, Cuthbold brought him over to meet me.  Thankfully it was only powdered sugar, not like I had fingers of jelly, and it was easily dismissed before I shook his hand. Upon hearing my name he looked puzzled but then suddenly blurted out “Oh yes, the computer chappie. Yes, yes, I remember now. Excellent presentation you gave. Didn't understand much of it I'm afraid. Not terribly technical you know.” His accent was very British, rather proper but with a slight hiss or lisp.

“Not to worry,” I reassured, “not many people are. Generally speaking most people are comfortable turning their computer on and accessing their email. Anything beyond that leads them to calling me.” I tried to chuckle and lighten the mood, but just became paranoid that I'd managed to offend him. Cutting off the laugh before it became too nervous, I continued “Are you ready to begin the tour now or do you have more to do before we start?”

Professor Smith-Smythe looked at Cuthbold for the answer to my question. Cuthbold beamed. “Whenever you're ready Professor.”

The Professor grinned politely. “Yes, well, no time like the present I suppose.”