Fails to Take a Stand

Hindsight is a magical thing. Through the lens of hindsight we can see all the points where we failed and what we should have done differently to have had success. The 'if I had only' game is only useful if its used as a learning experience, not if its as a wistful look at how good life could have been. Sometimes looking at the situation via hindsight doesn't change things. You honestly look at the situation and the information you had at the time only to realize that, as dumb as that move might have turned out, it made sense at the time.

That's what happened on this situation. I had no good reason to not join this group in conversation. Had I not joined the conversation, I would have looked like a bad guy. They looked normal enough. Bob liked my beard. I joined them.

I remained the outsider. They all knew each other and boisterously mocked each other in the good-natured way that men do. After a few minutes of listening to them, trying to follow the discussion, and figure out who was who, it was noticed that I lacked a beverage. This was considered a problem and a beer was pushed upon me.

I did my best to refuse the beer. Don't get me wrong. I'm not trying to say I was some innocent that was concerned about the legal age and how I had yet to reach it. I had consumed alcohol before this time and would yet again before I turned 21. That was not the reason although they thought it was. I was driving. I had others with me and their expectations to meet. Mostly, I wasn't in the mood to drink with them. They weren't my friends. I wasn't sure I even liked them. I didn't even want to be there. I was not keen on the idea of making booze buddies.

But they pushed and pushed me. Eventually I accepted a beer with the intent of holding it or nursing it, just to shut them up. They continued to be obnoxious about it so, further succumbing to peer pressure, I slugged down some of the contents of the plastic cup.

It didn't taste right. I knew what beer should taste like and this wasn't it. My concerns about the taste faded as I quickly and uncomfortably became lightheaded.

Then I passed out.