Talking Myself Into Trouble. Or Out Of It.

“Greetings Patrick.” The light changed from being directed straight into my eyes to illuminating the metal lined room that we are in. Eric is seated in a chair that's positioned in a way so that he'll be above me. No doubt this is an attempt at mind games as it puts him a position 'superior' to me as well as de-emphasizing his lack of height. He looks exactly how I remember him looking in school. Either he kept well or the lighting is working to his advantage. “Now that the pleasantries have been dealt with, let's address the LIES you told in that house.”

“Are you off your medication again?” I wasn't trying to mock those with chemical imbalances who need help in order to function; this was me asking him an honest question because he's just not right.

“This is not about me...” Eric began.

I quickly interrupted. “It's always about you.”

“Silence!” He was not happy. “As I said, this is about the lies you spoke earlier.”

I sighed. “I was not lying. Heather is dead.”

“Not!” He had a brief tantrum, bashing his fists into the arms of the chair. “Not! Not! Not!” It made me recall a theory I'd once pondered over, that people who attempt world domination needed to be hugged more often as children. I wonder how many masterminds could be stopped with a little polite affection. I'm not saying that the next time Colonel Freedom faces off against the forces of Des CLAMP that he should try hugs instead of fighting them because that would be weird. If it works then I suppose it's not a bad idea though.

“Hey!” Eric's yelling roused me from my thoughts. “We have things to discuss here!”

“You're the one that gassed me asleep in the middle of the night,” I noted. “Not my fault if I doze a bit.”

“Focus!” he demanded. “Your lies!”

“Not a lie sadly.”

“Impossible! My love cannot be dead.”

“Eric, I never understood what she did to get you started. Maybe she said 'hello' to you one day or whatever but I'm pretty sure she didn't love you.”

“She did! She was waiting for me to prove myself before she would allow herself to express her affections.” The fact that he still believed this made my head hurt. It was this simple-mindedness that ended our friendship as he decided that the best way to prove himself to my, at the time, fiancée was to concoct complicated plans to humiliate me. Clearly he couldn't trust my inbuilt talent for making myself look stupid to accomplish this; he needed to be able to go 'Aha! Got you!' at the end of it for Heather to see the error of her ways and fall into his arms.

Tired and frustrated with his stupidity, I started snapping at him. “Oh, so she was just biding her time with that chiropractor until you could make me look stupid enough, huh?”

“Clearly.”

“Did you ever, I don't know, do anything to let her know that you were still working on this project?”

He sat up straight, pulling himself to his full height, trying to look Very Serious Indeed. “I sent the occasional token of my affections.”

“Unsigned of course. She'd just know they were from you.”

“Of course.”

“So you had their address?” I checked.

“Of course.”

“And they're gone now. Have been for some years now.” Eric agreed with my assessment of the situation. “Where is she now?”

“That I don't know.”

“Why not Eric? If she loves you so, why hasn't she updated you with her new location?”

Once again he got Very Serious. “It's a test of my love. She's a Hunter now; she's busy.”

“Oh, you know about that. Couldn't you hack deep enough into their computers to get her location?”

“Well, no. Not exactly. Her file has some encryption on it that I can't crack.”

“Why do you think that is Eric?”

He hesitated. “She's on special assignment. Clearly.”

“She may have been but she's not anymore. She's dead Eric, honestly.”

Eric grew upset again. “My love cannot die! She and I will be together! Forever!”

Verbally I swung hard, knowing that the words I was about to say were going to hurt me as well. “If she was so fascinated with you Eric then why didn't she cheat on me with you?” Eric began stammering, working to express his lack of worthiness again. I pushed. “No Eric, she didn't run to you to protect her from my stupidity. She went and fooled around with Martyn. Did she come to you when she tired of him?” He stammered again but I answered my own question. “No! After she left me, did you ever, ever see her again? Where she acknowledged your presence? Or went looking for you? In any way apart from you spying on her?”

There was a pause that lasted forever. Quietly he noted “No.”

“Is it at all possible that she didn't come to you because she didn't love you?”

He just stared at me. “I will find her.”

“Dear heaven I hope not,” I muttered. Then the gas kicked in again and I was back to sleepytime.


I awoke back in my car. In the haze of returning to consciousness, I did briefly panic that I'd dreamed the experience with Eric. Thankfully my awakening brain quickly found evidence to support the fact that the meeting had not been a dream. I was pulled over to the side of the road and not at the stop sign as when I had passed out earlier. The car was also shut off instead of running. The car was cold but I wasn't, which seemed to hint that I'd just been put back into the car.

I started the car to let it warm up as I shook off the cobwebs. Eric could have dropped me off closer to home. Where were we anyway?

I made it home safe and, at that point, that was what was important to me. Sure I got home four hours later than I expected and I was still dog tired but I was home safe. Unsurprisingly not much happened on Sunday. Lots of resting.

Weird weekend.