Now Where Was I Again? Oh Yes, Hell.

Part of the failure is clearly my fault. After leaving Natalie's presence, the group I wandered over to join held Karen. “Still alone?” was her greeting to me. “Imagine that.” I had headed right over to Heather's best friend. Apparently she is still of the opinion that I'm an idiot. Fair enough. I ignored her jibe and tried to continue with the conversation that she had interrupted in order to 'greet' me. It was something about a new restaurant or something innocent enough like that. I forget what it was exactly because Karen would not leave me alone.

Dirty looks, snide comments, pointless petty disagreements, and other assorted high school level bitchery continued to come from her. In retrospect, I should have just wandered off to talk with another group but I didn't. I was comfy in the recliner and didn't want to let her think she'd beaten me somehow. I remained and the group became more and more uncomfortable around us to the point where it was just us two speaking. Karen's husband, Joe I think, tried to take her away a couple times but she wouldn't go either.

I don't think Karen has ever really liked me. We've fought verbally before so it really shouldn't have been a surprise to me that we would again. Karen is one of the friends that Heather made once we were in college and had already been dating for awhile. After Heather and I broke up, I heard about a number of things that Karen had supposedly said about me. I thought I'd let all that go years ago. Being in her presence brought all my old reactions to her back again.

Karen's argument kept returning to a common theme so I finally just aired it. “According to you, everything bad that happened to Heather was my fault.”

“You held her back! Everything always had to be your way. You never let her breathe or explore herself or find out what she really wanted from life!” For the record, I dispute Karen's comments here, despite not directly dealing with them at the time.

“Apparently what she wanted in life was a chiropractor. Or was that my fault for not being a chiropractor? Or not wanting to be a chiropractor? I don't recall us ever having a conversation where she said she wanted to me to be a chiropractor and I said no.” Clearly not the most dramatic of points but I felt like I'd accomplished something at the time.

“Aha!” This response confused me. “You admit it! Jealous of the chiropractor!”

This confused me further. “I don't remember saying that.”

“Then why did you arrange for those vampires to visit them? Hmm?” I felt the blood drain from my face. I may not have known what to expect from the evening but being accused of plotting a hit on my former girlfriend's family was definitely not on the list. My jaw may even have dangled a bit.

Karen's husband expressed his confusion. “How we he do that? It's not like you can look up 'vampires' in the phone book.”

Karen remained smug. “Patrick knows all sorts of weird people, don't you Patrick?”

I had a hard time expressing myself. “I know we didn't get along but that you'd think I'd do something like that...” I choked off again. “They had a kid. What would I have against a kid I never met?”

“I didn't say you meant for them to be hurt,” Karen backpedaled. “Just scare them a little. That sounds like something you'd do.” To a degree, she has a point. I don't mind the occasional 'surprise' type practical joke. What she was suggesting didn't sound like a joke; it sounded like some sort of petty revenge. You play jokes on people that are your friends, people you see on some sort of regular basis, not people you haven't communicated with in years and left on hard feelings. Sending vampires across state lines to 'scare' someone does not sound like a solid way to reestablish a friendship, even to someone with my limited mental capabilities and history of stupid decisions.

I stood up, dismissing myself. “This is what you've thought of me all this time? That, even accidentally, I would do something like that?”

I began to walk away as Karen sputtered and tried to defend herself or attack me further, I don't know. I was so mad that for a moment I couldn't hear. Evidently someone asked her for more details on the situation we had been discussing because when my hearing came back, I heard Karen again. “Her family was killed by vampires and Heather's been missing ever since.”

I should have let this go. Our argument had already disrupted the evening. There was nothing really inaccurate in what she'd said. However I was not thinking very clearly at that point. Her accusation had revived a number of painful memories and I was mad because of it. Instead of letting it go, I lashed back, stopping in the doorway to the kitchen and turning to face her. “She's not missing. My 'weird friends' told me what happened. She joined up with an anti-vampire group and died in the line of duty.” I was able to restrain myself to that. They didn't need any further details. I gave Karen a very Hard Stare. “Happy now? Happy to hear what you've really accused me of? That I'd just casually request the destruction of her family like that?” I stomped off into the kitchen.